First time I dropped acid I ruined my shoes.

First time I snorted coke I nearly drowned.

First time I tried horse I couldn’t sit down for a week.

First time I tried ice I slipped and cracked my tailbone in two spots and had to spend six weeks laying face down in the geriatric ward. Bedpans don’t work so well in that position.

i was in belgium once,
just for a day,
driven across the border
from the netherlands
by a dutchman
i met in chang mai

we did belgium things,
such as drinking beer
and buying chocolate.

the chocolates i purchased
looked simple, white pralines,
but they concealed layers
thinner than paper -
some crisp, some soft,
some insubstantial.

i can remember eating them,
but not the actual eating.
i knew my mouth
held something sweet
and marvellous,
but i lost a step
between the box
and the flavour.

those same moments of amnesia
occur when i kiss you,
which i’ve done many times,
none of which i can recall.